


Suck it up, Buttercup

by orphan_account



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, BAMF Pepper Potts, BAMF Tony Stark, Bully Flash Thompson, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Harley Keener is a little shit, I Tried, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Natasha Romanov Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, No Flash Thompson Redemption, OOC, Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Protective Harley Keener, Protective Pepper Potts, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, an attempt, im sorry if i have disgrace yall, let mr harrington rest, no beta we die like ben parker, obligatory, penis Parker grew balls that matched his name, reading fanfictions of movies i have never watched, writing fanfictions of movies i have never watched
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Obligatory field trip fic.(I've read every single one of the fanfiction of this trope and even though i have never watched the movies, im writing one anyways. Character's maybe ooc because ive only ever watched Spider-man hc and ffh.)DISCONTINUED (This has been rewritten, please check out Suck it up, Buttercup 2)
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 18
Kudos: 196





	1. Failed Set-up

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction so constructive criticism is welcome.
> 
> -
> 
> He breathed a sigh of relief as he closed and locked his door quietly.
> 
> He did not expect Mr. Stark to be sitting on his bed when he promptly turn around.
> 
> "So, Kid, have anything to show me?", Peter's unibrow shot up, "Like, uhm, a form of some sorts, perhaps?" Then it suddenly dawned on him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yo, I kind of forgot to paste on how Mr. Harrington gave out the permission slips and I've only realized that now so, I'm so sorry about that!

Peter unlocked the door to the compound and tried to sneak off to his room, hoping that he wouldn't run into Mr. Stark as he has something he doesn't really want to show him and you all know how he is, he's a very bad liar, everyone immediately sees through him; he's like an open book.

He entered his room, not paying attention on who's inside and looked around outside to see if anyone was following him. He breathed a sigh of relief as he closed and locked his door quietly.

He did not expect Mr. Stark to be sitting on his bed when he promptly turns around.

"So, Kid, have anything to show me?", Peter's unibrow shot up, "Like, uhm, a form of some sorts, perhaps?" Then it suddenly dawned on him.

("I have a surprise for you, guys!", Mr. Harrington began, "So, uh, we've been given an opportunity to hold a field trip this Friday, now," he placed down a box full of forms on the table, "I know this is short notice butー"

He was cut off by the late reaction of his students, shouts and jeers can be heard, "Where to, Mr. Harrington?"

"Damn, I hope it isn't Oscorp."

"I wish we have a normal fucking field trip this time!", to which Mr. Harrington shouted, 'language!'

"Where are we headed to though?"

"Yeah, where, where??", Mr. Harrington made a gesture for all of them to sit down, "I was about to say where before you so rudely cut me off!", they all shut up after that.

Peter's head rested on his desk, looking tired as Ned next to him looks like he's about to burst with excitement.

"Again, this is all short notice, but since we're all going to," he made a drum roll sound using his pens, "Stark Industries!", the class exploded.

"Holy shit!"

"This is a lot better than Oscorp!"

Peter's head suddenly shot up as his eyes widened, _oh no_. Flash noticed this and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"Why so shock, Parker? Nervous that your lies will finally unravel?", Peter ignored him but he still kept on taunting him to which he finally stopped seeing as Flash isn't getting any reaction from Peter at all.

"Dude! Isn't this exciting?!", Ned whisper-shouted next to him, Peter grunted and rubbed his eyes before running a hand across his hair.

"I don't know, Ned, considering I've been there for a millionth time! And, a- and you have been there for a couple of times too, man!"

"You've said that a lot of times now, but I'll never get tired of going to Stark Industriesーyou're literal home!", Peter looked around and shushed him.

"Shh! Dude!", Ned muttered a 'sorry', "Plus, I don't live there, I live at the compound!"

Mr. Harrington knocked on the blackboard to get everyone's attention, "Please grab your forms and make sure to bring it in tomorrow!")

"You set up that field trip!", he accused and Tony feigned innocence. "Whaaat? Me? Set up a field trip? That's hilarious, Peteyーshow me the form so I can sign it."

"Too late, I- uhm, burnt it," Tony narrowed his eyes, "FRIDAY, scan Peter's backpack and check if he has the form for the field trip."

"Yes, Boss," Peter face-palmed as he forgot that FRIDAY existed for a minute, "Scan completed. Field trip form to Stark Industries is hidden inside mini-boss' book binder, Boss," FRIDAY complied as Tony smirked and Peter could only groan.

"Give it here, Kid," he held out his hand.

Peter grumbled under his breath, he placed the bag on the floor and brought out his book binder, "I can't believe you set up a field trip just so you could embarrass me, Mr. Stark," Peter ~~pouted~~ scowled when Tony chuckled.

He gave the form and a pen to Tony and signed it with a smile on his face, "Good luck tomorrow, Kid," he stood up and headed towards the door, "Goodnight, Harley's coming tomorrow," then he left.

Peter grumpily put his backpack away and then it hit himー Harley? Peter beamed as he jumped and rolled on his bed all giddy.

He squealed silently at the thought of his boyfriend, he hadn't seen him for over 3 months as he visited his family in Tennessee.

Peter grabbed his phone and texted him.

> **spider-baby** : You didn't tell me you were coming home tomorrow!
> 
> **Country Potato** : It was supposed to be a surprise （￣ー￣；
> 
> **spider-baby** : Whー I wanted to be surprised! Damn it, Tony Σ(￣ロ￣lll)
> 
> **Country Potato** : Language

Peter rolled his eyes at that and chuckled whole-heartedly.

> **spider-baby** : wow
> 
> **spider-baby** : how hypocritical of u
> 
> **Country Potato** : shuddup, bug
> 
> **spider-baby** : I am an arachnid, thank u very much

They continued to chat for a while and called for a bit while Peter does his homework before going off to bed.

"Goodnight, my spider-bug, I love you," Harley said through the phone and Peter could feel his blood rush up to his face.

"Goodnight and I love you, too, Potato-boy," Peter kissed his phone and ended the call, tomorrow was going to be great.

ー

"Oh my God, I literally still can't believe we're going on a field trip to your house!", Ned whisper-shouted and Peter just groaned.

"Are we going to meet the Avengers?", Ned questioned, "Ned, you literally go there almost every weekendー"

"I know!! But I've never been on a tour there before, you know?", Peter laughed at his friend's enthusiasm.

"And plus, I'll never not be excited when going to Stark Industries!"

"You know you could have just asked me to give you a tour their right? I'm sure Mr. Stark will allow us."

"Really?!", Ned exclaimed.

"Yo, Penis Parker! Still going off about that fake internship of yours?"

"Shove off, Flash," Peter rolled his eyes.

"What did you say to me, skank?", Flash puffed out his chest and tried to look intimidating. Key word: tried

"Aren't you tired of obsessing over my internship, Eugene?", he taunted, "It's already been 2 years and you still wouldn't drop it. Careful, Eugene, people might get the wrong idea and assume that you're actually jealous about my internship," Several people who are passing by didn't even try to hide their laugh.

Before Flash could do something, the bell rang and both Ned and Peter bolted away to their classroom.

"Dude, that was kind of cool!", Ned threw his hands up, "The way you actually stood up to him!"

"I'm just sick of always having to explain my internship to him."

Peter thought about the field trip form that Tony signed last night and groaned quietly, he really did not want to go on a tour on his own place just so Mr. Stark and company could embarrass him.

Mr. Harrington slipped through the door with an empty box on hand.

"Alright, KidsーI'm taking in your forms today, those who forgot, you still have a chance to pass it tomorrow. Remember, the field trip is on Friday."

Everyone stood up and formed a small line and placed their forms on the box, Peter was the last one to put his.

Mr. Harrington raised a unibrow and looked up at Peter with a stern look on his face. He grabbed Peter's form and kept looking at the form then back at Peter then back at the form again.

"Mr. Parker, a word with you outside, please."

Peter gulped, but inside he's having a little dance party when he just realized that since nobody believes him about his internship, then people would probably only assume that he forged Mr. Stark's signature.

“Mr. Parker, I understand how you feel the need of lying about the internship,” _hold on, what?_ “With you distancing yourself around your classmates and only having to talk to Ned”, Wait, where is this going?

“With both your parents passing away at such a young age, I understand that you felt the need to lie about an internship to cope about that fact, but you- “

Hold on, _this-bitch-say-whaaat?_


	2. My father- I mean, Mister Stark will hear about this!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap: “With both your parents passing away at such a young age, I understand that you felt the need to lie about an internship to cope about that fact, but-“
> 
> Hold on, this-bitch-say-whaaat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I apologize if my grammar is wrong, English is not my first language.

“Forging _the_ Tony Stark’s signature just because you found out that we will be having a field trip at Stark Industries is unacceptable.”

Peter gaped, “I’m sorry, _what?_ ”, Mr. Harrington sighed, “I know you heard me, Peter.”

“I heard you alright, and I say that it’s _bullshit_ -,” Mr. Harrington sputtered, because he’d never expected _Peter Parker_ of all people to curse in front of him. T-this sweet, _sweet_ summer child just cursed because of an apparent lie that had been going on for two years-

“Mr. Parker! I will not toler-,” Peter looked behind Mr. Harrington and saw that a couple of students had been watching their little disagreement.

“Seriously, Mr. Harrington? I gave you the paperwork that Ms. Potts had prepared for me as proof for my internship!”, Peter curled his fist into a ball.

Peter was never one to shout at a teacher, he was always this goody-two-shoes that his classmates made him to be, so yeah, this was very out of character for him.

“Mr. Parker, I will not tolerate this lie anymore- whether it maybe a coping mechanism or not! You have until tomorrow to come clean or we’ll have to take this to the principal’s office!”, this was also very uncharacteristic of one Roger Harrington, he was always the one to understand everything, but because of a presumed forgery, he was breaking character.

“But I wasn’t lying about the internship!”, Peter tried to argue further more.

“That’s it, Mr. Parker, I’ll be escorting you to the Principal’s office!”, a bunch of ‘oohs’ can be heard from the entrance of the classroom. Ned had worry written all over his face, “Peter…”

Flash laughed without shame, “Hah! Penis is really willing to risk going to the Principal just to prove his fake little- “, Mr. Harrington glared at him, “Mr. Thompson, please! Peter, come with me,” Peter could only scowl as he follows Mr. Harrington to the Principal’s office.

Mr. Harrington looked back, “Oh and, uhm, Ms. Brant, you’re in charge of the class for now.”

Much to Peter’s confusion, they had stopped at the entrance of the office, “Peter, this is your last chance,” Peter heaved a long sigh, his eyes becoming glossy as if he was about to cry. Mr. Harrington felt sorry for the boy but he needs to do what he has to do.

Peter hang his head low, not bothering to reply to Mr. Harrington’s pleading statement. Mr. Harrington looked up the ceiling and sighed again. “Alright, Peter, you gave me no choice,” he knocked on the door and a faint, ‘come in’, can be heard from the inside.

Mr. Harrington opened the door to the office, the fresh cold air coming from the air conditioner made both of the hairs on their skin stand up.

“Roger, Mr. Parker! What brings you here?”, Principal Jim Morita greeted.

“Uh, I’m here to report an issue, Sir,” Mr. Harrington started, Principal Morita narrowed his eyes, “An issue? About Mr. Parker?”, Principal Morita didn’t hide the disbelief in his question.

Mr. Harrington nodded, “It’s about his supposed internship,” Principal Morita quirked an eyebrow and sat down, “Ahh.”

* * *

They talked and argued for a whole 30 minutes before Principal Morita came to a conclusion, “Mr. Parker, I’m sorry, but this lie has been going on long enough, I have no other choice but to suspend you for the time being,” Peter’s eyes widened, because as much as he doesn’t want to come to the field trip, this has gone too far to the point of suspension.

Mr. Harrington sputtered, “Jim, I don’t think this is wise- I mean, it’s just a harmless lie, I don’t think suspension would make up for this!”, Peter gave Principal Morita a pleading look. Principal Morita massaged the bridged of his nose.

“The suspension will affect his permanent records! And Peter is one of the smartest students in this school, if he wants to go to a good college, shouldn’t we spare him the suspension?”, Jim groaned quietly, “Fine, then, Roger, what do you suggest?”, Peter internally breathed a sigh of relief.

“Let’s maybe make him clean the whole gym spotless and give him a months’ worth of detention- at least, those won’t go on his permanent record,” Principal Morita, thank you Mr. Harrington, agreed to the suggestion.

“Alright then, but since the signature on your form is, by means, forged, you won’t be able to attend the field trip,” Peter could live with that.

_I didn’t want to attend anyways._

“We’ll have to inform your guardian with this,” Principal Morita dialed May’s number and Peter thank the Gods that it isn’t Mr. Stark’s or Ms. Potts’ number.

While Mr. Harrington isn’t able to hear Aunt May on the phone, Peter is able to because of his enhanced hearing.

“Mrs. Parker, I am calling to inform you that…”, Principal Morita said in a professional demeanor.

“Peter? What for?”, the sudden information surprised May, hence the doubt and disbelief in her tone.

Principal Morita explained everything they argued about for the past 30 minutes and more including the not being able to attend the field trip.

“I see, alright, I understand- I, do I have to pick Peter up from school?”

“Unfortunately, yes, it’s in one of our policies to do so.”

Peter heard may sigh on the other end of the call, “Well- I, is it alright if I send in a proxy to pick him up? I’m kind of in the middle work”, Principal Morita grunted but nevertheless, allowed her to send in a proxy. “I’m sorry if we disturb you in your work in any way.”

“Alright, can- can I talk to Peter for a second?”, Peter’s head shot up.

Principal Morita handed him the phone and he gladly took it, “Hey, May?”

“Just so you know, Pete, if you want me to give them a piece of my mind, I will, just say it,” He laughed softly at this, it’s good to know that May’s still on his side. He can see on his peripheral vision that Principal Morita is eyeing him while Mr. Harrington is just standing there awkwardly.

“It’s alright, May, no need to do that.”

“If that’s what you want…”, she paused, “I’ll inform Happy that you were allowed out early so he can pick you up.”

“Thanks, Aunt May, love you,” May chuckled and gave him a quick, ‘I love you, too’ before he handed the phone back to Principal Morita. They talked for about a minute or two before hanging up.

“It’s settled, Peter, you will clean the school gym spotless and you have to attend detention for a month, starting next week,” Peter bit his lip, it’s not like there’s anything he could do.

A knock on the door was heard from outside and Principal Morita uttered a quick, ‘come in.’

The door opened inwardly, revealing a stone faced Happy.

Wait- _Happy Hogan?_

Principal Morita stood up subconsciously, “Mr. Hogan! To what do I owe you the pleasure?”, Peter tried to suppress a snicker.

“I’m here to pick up, Peter Parker.”

Huh?

Confusion was written all over both Mr. Harrington’s and Principal Morita’s faces- _What?_

Happy spotted Peter and pointed at him, “Look, he’s over there. Let’s go, Peter,”

_What the fuck?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also grateful for all your kind comments!


	3. Harley Kisser and Peter Pucker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap: Confusion was written all over both Mr. Harrington’s and Principal Morita’s faces- What?
> 
> Happy spotted Peter and pointed at him, “Look, he’s over there. Let’s go, Peter,”  
> What the fuck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Мать паук - Mother spider  
> Ребенок паук - Baby Spider

Just why in the world would Happy Hogan; Tony Stark's exclusive bodyguard be here only to pick up one Peter Parker?

Definitely does not make sense. If Flash Thompson were here, he'd give an indignant shout and ask, "Why Parker?!"

Good thing he isn't here or he would have made a scene; not like this isn't already a scene though.

Peter stood up and gladly followed Happy out the door, "We'll get going now," Happy said and closed the door before Principal Morita and Mr. Harrington could question ang further. "Uh, I need to go get my things back at the classroom, Haps..."

"Make it fast, Kid. And don't call me Haps," Peter laughed but complied anyways.

Peter ran down the hall to his classroom. He could already hear chatters coming from the inside. Before he could turn the knob, Betty Brant had already opened it. "Oh, Peter!", she exclaimed, making the students chatter die down as their focus turned to them.

"I- uhm, I- I'm just gonna get my things...", he said as Ned ran up to him, "Peter! What happened? Why'd Harrington send you to the Principal's office? Are you okay? I got your bagー", Peter couldn't keep up with Ned's interrogation and just grabbed his bag and thanked him. "Sorry, Ned, I'll text you the details, Happy's kind of waiting for me."

Ned gave him a worried nod. Peter saw Flash smirk and puffed out his chest obnoxiously. He rolled his eyes and muttered, "Here we go...", under his breathe.

"Hey, Penis! Got in trouble with your lies? See, even the teachers don’t believe your fake little internship! As if someone like you could actually intern much less be empl- ", Peter groaned and cut him off.

"Fuck off, Eugene, as if someone like you could actually work there either. And shut up with the 'Penis' for God's sakeーenvious that mine's bigger than yours?", His whole class erupted in laughter much to Flash's dismay. His face was as red as Spiderman's suit.

“Dude! Peter! My man!”, Ned bent over, clutching his stomach.

“Damn, Parker! Didn’t know you had it in you!”, Jason Lonello commented.

Before Flash could even voice another retort, he had sprinted away, he heard Flash shout, "You'll pay for that, Parker!", but didn't pay it any mind.

"Let's go, Happy!", he smiled widely which made Happy question him, "What's got you all giddy? A girl?", Peter laughed.

"No! Just roasted a bully."

"You're being bullied?", Oh whoops, slip of the tongue. Peter thought of a lie.

"N- no, I said bullyーdoesn't mean I'm the one who's being bullied. Ha-ha. Nope," he scratched the back of his head, "Not at all."

Happy looked at him with a deadpan look on his face, "Hrn. I'll give you the benefit of doubt." Before they made their way to the car, Peter remembered something.

"Wait, Happy, you need to sign me out first!", Happy sighed, "Where?", Peter gave him an apologetic look, "The receptionist is just over there...", he pointed.

Peter heard his phone ring and fished it out of his bag. It was MJ.

> **Seychelles** : yo loser, was absent for first period, Ned told me you went to the Principal's office.
> 
> **SpiDork** : I'll tell you later ( ● □ ● )

"Kid, Let's go."

"Right behind ya."

* * *

They got in the car as Happy started the engine, "Hey, Happy, have you already informed Mr. Stark about this?", to which he replied a 'no', and started driving.

"Cool, can you, uh, c-can you, like, not tell him about this?" Happy looked back at Peter, "And why is that?", Peter shrunk at his gaze.

"I- I don't know, but I swear! I swear I'll tell him later, just don't- I'll tell him instead."

"Whatever, Kid," he breathed out a sigh of relief.

"By the way, Kid, where to?"

"Uh, t-the compound, I guess?", Happy grunted in response.

Happy drove in silence and Peter just fiddled with his fidget cube. Then something dawned on him that made him fish out his phone out of his backpack.

_I almost forgot that Harley's coming home today!_

Peter giggled and pressed on Harley's contacts.

> **Spider-baby** : Harles!! I can't wait to finally see you! (・ε・｀)
> 
> **Country Potato** : Awe, ain't you so adorable, Darlin'? ♡
> 
> **Spider-baby** : one of us has to be （○゜ε＾○）
> 
> **Country Potato** : Right, because I'm the handsome one ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> **Country Potato** : I'll text ya later, love ya darlin'
> 
> **Spider-baby** : love u too ♡♡♡

The car stopped as Happy said, "We're here, Peter. Out you go."

"Wow, it's as if you want to get rid of me."

"That was what I was intending."

"I'm hurt, Happy," he feigned heart ache, "Good, now out," Peter laughed and bid goodbye.

ー

Peter opened the door to the compound and found all the Avengers compiled on the couch in front of the big screen.

Looks like they're watching a movie.

He closed the door with a small thud and all the Avenger's gaze was focused on him.

They all beamed at his presence, "Peter!"

"Uhm, hi everyone," he greeted awkwardly. Sometimes he still can't believe that he's actually living with the Avengers.

("Peter, I'm being promotedー"

"Really? That's great, May!", Peter cheered for his aunt as he places his backpack down.

"...but they requested I move to another place and it's not exactly near here- but the pay's good! It's...good."

"I don't understand? Where are they going to move you?"

May sighed, "England- ", he was cut off by an outrages Peter. "England?! May- what, what about me being Spiderman? And, and Ned! And MJ! I can't just leave everything behind, May! You know how important this is-", before Peter could even continue, May whacked him in the face.

Peter groaned in pain and clutched his face, "Ow! What was that for?", May laughed good-naturedly.

"I never said I'm going to bring you with me, Pete!", she chuckled softly. Peter was confused. What?

"I called Tony- ", Wait what?! May called Mr. Stark? For wha-, "And asked him if he could stay with you until I'm back," his eyes widened.

"Yep, that's right, Underoos, you'll be staying with me for the time being," Tony Stark came out of the shadows and his eyes widened even more. He stuttered out his name but then stopped when Mr. Stark gave him a dry look.)

Then May had come back to their old apartment but still insisted on him living in the compound; Tony didn't mind.

("I don't really mind you living in the compound, Kidー at least you don't have to run back and forth from the apartment to the compound," Mr. Stark stated after May had said that she won't be as home as often anyways.)

"Underoos! Great timing, we were just about to watch a- wait what time is it?", Mr. Stark glanced at his watch.

"Ребенок паук? Aren't you supposed to be in school?", Natasha questioned, Peter looked down at the floor sheepishly, "I, uhm, got sent homeー"

"Sent home?", Thor said in disbelief, "To what reason did they have to send you home, Boy of Spiders?"

"Yeah, what gives?"

"Uh well, I- I'll tell you guys later, uhm, is Harley here?", Clint whistled and wiggled his eyebrows, "Ooh~", he cooed.

Wanda smiled softly, “He is in your room."

"We wanted him to watch a movie with us, but insisted that he would wait for you."

"How long has he been here?"

"Hmm, shortly after you arrived."

"Thanks, Мать паук!", then ran off to his room.

He opened the door to his room and was greeted with a sleeping Harley.

(Who was, by the way, snuggling the spider-man plushy that Peter had sewn for him on his birthday while snoring softly.)

Peter smiled to himself and settled his bag down, he made his way to his bed and ran a hand across Harley’s soft and shiny hair.

Harley shifted in his sleep and Peter immediately removed his hand.

“Mm. P’ter?”, He slurred. Peter placed a kiss on his forehead and jumped onto the bed with him, hugging him tightly.

Peter sniffed, “I’ve missed you so much,” Harley laughed and grabbed Peter’s face, Peter looked surprise with the gesture as his eyebrows quirked. Harley then kept on squishing his face.

“I thought you’d be back this afternoon, what happened?”, Peter only pouted and scrunched up his face in response. Harley was confused but planted a quick peck on his lips.

They both sat up and the next thing you know, they’re both making out as if their lives depended on it. Harley scooted Peter closer by grabbing him on both sides of his waist while Peter on the other hand sat on his lap as he rested his arms on Harley’s shoulders.

Harley moved his hands and put them under Peter’s shirt and left nail marks on his back. Unfortunately, they didn’t get to go further than that as Clint barged in.

“Hey, kids, do you want to- woah! Okay, shit,” Clint dramatically covered his eyes and turned the other way. They both heard a faint, “I wish I was blind instead!”

They both turn to face each other and sighed, “Cockblocker," they both muttered under their breaths.

Great. The mood was ruined.

Peter jumped off the bed and took his clothes off, Harley catcalled and Peter gave him a dry laugh. “I’m gonna take a bath, didn’t exactly get to shower earlier…”, he removed his jeans, only leaving his boxers on him.

He went over to his closet and grabbed whatever clothing that seemed comfy and placed it on his work table.

(He had asked FRIDAY to wake him up by 6 at the latest, but FRIDAY clearly did not do her best as Peter woke up by 7:56, only 4 minutes to spare.

Peter glared at the ceiling and groaned, “FRIDAY…”, he uttered as he struggles to put on a pair of jeans and just grabbed whatever clothes was sprawled on the chair.

FRIDAY didn’t even have the gal to respond.)

He closed the closet and made his way to his own bathroom, but before he took a step inside, Peter gave him a seductive look, “Want to come with?”

“Why not?”, Harley smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, NSFW isn't my forte since I'm a minor.


	4. Dorime 🙏

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m a guy, Mr. Stark! Guys don’t get pregnant!”  
> “Yeah, and how are you sure that Peter isn’t the one who tops?”, Peter’s face reddened while Steve and Bucky’s (who were silently flirting with each other, by the way) head turned to face their direction. Everyone else gaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recap: He closed the closet and made his way to his own bathroom, but before he took a step inside, Peter gave him a seductive look, “Want to come with?”  
> “Why not?”, Harley smirked. 
> 
> _
> 
> Thank you for all your kudos, comments, and hits! I really appreciate it :DD

“For the last time, Mr. Barton! We didn’t have sex,” Peter said for the umpteenth time. Clint narrowed his eyes and scrunched up his nose as a response.

(“Hey, kids, do you want to- woah! Okay, shit,” Clint dramatically covered his eyes and turned the other way. They both heard a faint, “I wish I was blind instead!”

“What was that about?”, Tony asked.

“Yeah, where are the kids?”, Steve smiled obliviously. “Also, what did you mean by you wish you were blind instead?”

“Yeah, well your _‘kids’,_ ” Clint made a face while using air quotes, “Were making out intensely inside Peter’s bedroom!”, Instead of getting angry, the lot of them cheered, “That’s my boys!”)

Peter, Harley, and the rest of the Avengers were inside the living room. Clint was childishly mocking peter with no shame.

“Uh-huh, right, you didn’t, I totally believe you.”

“We didn’t! A-and why are you even asking us that, haven’t you heard of decency?”, Peter pouted. They were sprawled around the sofa and the others were on the floor.

“Fine. Let’s say you didn’t do ‘it’. But- in the future, when you _actually do it_ , use a con- “

“ ** _Oh my God_** , Mr. Barton! Mr. Stark already gave me and Harley the talk! Help me here, you potato!”, Harley ~~laughed~~ offered him a hug.

“Yeah, and it was _dreadful_ , the most boring 2 hours of my life,” Mr. Stark protested, “Hey! It was for your own good! We can’t risk you getting Peter pregnant.”

 _How could someone so smart be so stupid?!_ Harley facepalmed as Peter gaped. The rest were just watching their little arguments with an amused look on their faces.

“I’m a _guy,_ Mr. Stark! Guys don’t get pregnant!”

“Yeah, and how are you sure that Peter isn’t the one who tops?”, Peter’s face reddened while Steve and Bucky’s (who were silently flirting with each other, by the way) head turned to face their direction. Everyone else gaped.

“Huh. Who would have thought that Harley was the woman in the relationship?”, Vision commented.

“Literally the whole point of bein’ gay is that there _is_ no woman in the relationship, Vis,” Harley supplied which was followed by a small ‘Oh’ from Vision.

“I’m changing the subject- why did they let you go home early? It hasn’t even been over two hours before they let you out?”, Natasha questioned. Natasha was like Peter’s 2nd backup mother figure aside from Pepper, when they first met, Natasha immediately adopted him in one look.

(“Go hide in your coffee den, Stark. This is my child now.”)

“Yeah, Darlin’, what happened?”

Peter answered so fast that it was incomprehensible. Peter can feel everyone’s eyes on him as he looks down at his lap, sweating.

“Uhm, I-I…yeah, I got in trouble at school,” Mr. Stark was about to say something but Peter beat him to it, “B-but before you say anything- no, I’m not being bullied at school, I- uhm…”, he trails off as if he was unsure of what he was going to say.

“No-one believes that I- I had an internship, so…they, uhm, sent me home.”

“What? But- what? Just because of that?”, Steve uttered in disbelief.

Mr. Stark quirked his eyebrows, “Didn’t Pepper issue a paperwork for that?”

“That’s what I said! But they said I forged it, like how I forged your signature,” he scowled, “Oh, and cancel your plans on embarrassing me, by the way, they refused to include me on the field trip because of the latter.”

Mr. Stark feigned offense, “I never planned on embarrassing you!”

“Likely story, Mr. Stark.”

“It’s Tony, and- You want me to handle this?”

“You already did, didn’t you?”, he deadpanned.

Mr. Stark placed his hand on his heart, “You know me so well, Kid.”

* * *

Pepper Potts is known to be calm, collective, and _very busy_ and when Tony alerted her that Peter’s school wasn’t living up to their expectations, she was livid.

Pepper cancelled the meeting she was supposed to attend and asked her assistant to print another copy of legal documents regarding Peter’s internship agreement while she dials the number of Midtown high.

“Hello, is this Midtown High School of Science and Technology?”, It was the receptionist, Lydia, who answered. “Oh, Yes! My name is Lydia, how may I help you?”, she answered in a sweet voice.

“This is Pepper Potts from Stark Industries, I am here to report an issue to the principal of this school in connection to one Peter Parker,” She uttered in a stern voice which made the receptionist sweat drop.

“Oh, uhm, of course, M-Ms. Potts! I’ll get back to you in a sec- “, she put Pepper on hold before she even finished her sentence.

Gwen, Pepper’s assistant, came back two minutes later with the legal documents in her hand and placed them on the table. Pepper thanked her as she smiled before going outside to wait by the door.

“Jim Morita speaking, how may I help you regarding Mr. Parker, Ms. Potts?”

“I think you already know the answer to that, Principal Morita,” Jim audibly gulped, “Peter informed us about how you refused to believe when my assistant, Gwen, personally came there to issue paperwork concerning Peter’s internship here at Stark Industries.

“I’m very sorry for our student, Ms. Potts. I assure you; I have already given him punishment- I will talk to him once more. Again, I apologize for the disturbance- “

Pepper interrupted him, “What are you talking about, Principal Morita? Did you not hear what I just said? Peter was the one who informed us of this. The same Peter Parker who goes to school there that also interns here!”, this is very infuriating for Pepper.

Jim probably did not fully understand her because he’s still processing as to why _the_ Pepper Potts, _the_ CEO of Stark Industries, and _the_ love interest of Tony Stark was calling the school.

“I-I, uhm, I, uhh,” Pepper sighed as Jim’s words were incomprehensible. She massaged the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, trying to control her growing anger.

“I believe we should settle this in personal, Principal Morita. Goodbye,” she ended the call with a slight slam on the telephone.

“FRIDAY, please schedule a meeting to Midtown High,” She rested her elbow on the table and put a hand on her forehead.

“Unbelievable. And suddenly, the next thing I know, Peter is being bullied.”

* * *

**Incoming messages for SpiDork from Seychelles (2)**

> **Seychelles** : Hey, Dork. Ned told me everything he saw.
> 
> **Seychelles** : i wanna know what happened with Harrington and morita.
> 
> **SpiDork** : hello to u too Michelle
> 
> **SpiDork** : I was aboutta be suspended butt mr. Harrington argued for my behalk so they just givin me an inn-school suspension ya know?
> 
> **SpiDork** : but* bejalf* in*
> 
> **SpiDork** : fuck, behalf**
> 
> **SpiDork** : like they gon make me clean the whole gym spotless- kike how unfair is ghat?
> 
> **SpiDork** : like* that*
> 
> **SpiDork** : sorry about the typos, Harles is bothering me.
> 
> **Seychelles** : What idiots, didn’t- Gwen? Was it? Ms. Potts’ assistant? Gave them paperwork
> 
> **SpiDork** : EXaCtLY! But they prolly think that I hired her and all that shit
> 
> **SpiDork** : just to make my lie believable or sumthin’
> 
> **Seychelles** : How come a prestigious school like Midtown have such stupid staffs
> 
> **Seychelles** : I told Shuri aha.
> 
> **SpiDork** : >:(((

* * *

**Incoming messages for Peter-Piper from ned-lyingonthe-bed (2)**

> **ned-lyingonthe-bed** : hey, man, I told mj everything I heard
> 
> **ned-lyingonthe-bed** : gimme some update here, im worried
> 
> **Peter-Piper** : sorry ned
> 
> **Peter-Piper** : Basically, got an in-school suspension because they didn’t believe my stark internship
> 
> **ned-lyingonthe-bed** : that sucks, man, cant believe after 2 years, they still don’t believe you
> 
> **ned-lyingonthe-bed** : btw Flash was awfully quiet when u roasted him

* * *

**Incoming messages for Peturr Parkurr from Dorime** **🙏 (10)**

> **QueenOfMeme** : I hear from MJ that Spooderman got an in-school suspension
> 
> **harlenequinzel** : tru
> 
> **Queen_Of_Mean** : you heard right.
> 
> **harlenequinzel** : Shit school tbh, just transfer to MIT, Darlin’
> 
> **Queen_Of_Mean** : Field trip would probably be cancelled tomorrow
> 
> **QueenOfMeme** : I contacted Pepper’s assistant and she said that Pepper’s preparing on visiting ur school
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair** : aw man we’re fucked
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair** : was rlly looking forward for tom :((
> 
> **QueenOfMeme** : u literally have 3 people who can give u a tour on s.i.
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair** : oh yeah 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Pepper Potts with all my life.
> 
> Are y'all ready for the Virginia "Pepper" Potts smackdown next chapter?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap: “FRIDAY, please schedule a meeting to Midtown High,” She rested her elbow on the table and put a hand on her forehead.
> 
> “Unbelievable. And suddenly, the next thing I know, Peter is being bullied.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your Kudos, Comments, and Hits are well appreciated!  
> Also, I'm sorry if this chapter's a mess, I've been in a lot of stress lately.

“Principal Morita.”

“M-Ms. Potts.”

They both had a staring contest in which Jim was the first to break eye contact. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak but before he could even voice his questions and concerns, Pepper spoke.

“Principal Morita, as you may have known from our phone call earlier this morning, I am here to discuss an issue concerning a supposed _lie_ about a certain someone’s internship. Now,” she held up her hand to her assistant and Lydia handed her the documents.

“I have my own copy of the contract of Peter’s internship including the Principle Statement of Terms and Agreement that is to be followed,” Jim paled.

“I believe we have given you the same copy of the documents that my assistant brought with her when she _visited_ the school, she informed me that you also signed a contract believing that you have allowed Peter to cut classes for him to be able to attend his internship.”

“Now, Principal Morita, are you telling me that even though you’ve suspected him about supposedly lying, you still allowed him to cut classes only to sympathize with him because of the loss of his parents? I would understand but seeing as you didn’t even double check the documents nor the contract, yet you still signed it; I’ve come to a conclusion that you saw the visit as a joke but went along with it as to not to try and not hurt him in any way.”

“I-I, I suppose, I, uhm, was wrong?”, Jim can feel Pepper’s hard gaze focus on him as he desperately tries to avoid it.

“Was that a question or a statement?”, Jim felt his heart rate speed up.

“I came here to prove that Peter was indeed telling the truth only to find out that _you_ were the one who was lying to him. Tell me, Principal Morita, did you not voice your concern nor confront him about this because you also had your doubts whether or not Peter was actually telling the truth despite the proof, as I’ve said many times, was already given to you by my personal assistant?”

“Let’s say…If a kid, who isn’t Peter, actually lied about an internship involving Stark Industries and showed a forged contract and agreement of some sorts, would you still have let them go or keep up with them because they had a background that you could sympathized with?”

There was a pregnant pause, “Well? I have a meeting in the next… 24 minutes, Principal Morita, I have no extra time to spare,” Now, Jim was sweating profusely.

“W-well, uhm, I suppose I will…”, Pepper’s demeanor didn’t change as she closes her eyes, “So you admit. I anticipated more from this school, and clearly, you are not living up to those expectations,” she stood up, “I also expect a written and verbal apology, not only for Peter, but for my assistant and the company by tomorrow. If not, then gladly expect to see my lawyers stepping into the school grounds by Saturday”

“I do not need to waste my time any further as I think I’ve already done enough for my Peter.”

“Also, I will not cancel the field trip, if you are even worried about that, I want the kids to learn as much at S.I.”, with that she left, leaving a shaken Principal Morita behind.

* * *

**Incoming messages for Peturr Parkurr from Dorime** **🙏 (5)**

> **Guy-in-the-chair:** Guys! I forfot to tell you that Peteafkjaknkagjttjkajktknkflnnfknfkkll lfK I knoe akejrg
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair:** alken jjrjanieh jalawp239ELA E0999ek2I3U93333333333
> 
> **QueenOfMeme: ?**
> 
> **harlenequinzel:**?
> 
> **Queen_Of_Mean:**?
> 
> **Peturr Parkurr:**?
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair:** SORRY MY CAT RAN OVER MY KEYBOARD AND BROKE MY CAPSLOCK
> 
> **Peturr Parkurr:** there’s no need to shout ned, my ears r very sensitive
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair:** PETER, WE’RE LITERALLY CHATTING
> 
> **harlenequinzel:** ned stop, ur hurting my darling
> 
> **Queen_Of_Mean:** E

**Queen_Of_Mean changed harlenequinzel’s nickname to ZeroTwo**

> **ZeroTwo:** mj can u not
> 
> **QueenOfMeme:** ya know this whole conversation is verry cringeworthy
> 
> **Peturr Parkurr:** very*
> 
> **QueenOfMeme:** I won’t hesitate, bitch.
> 
> **Queen_Of_Mean:** well this has been a total rollercoaster
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair:** IM GONNA TELL YALL ABOUT THE **_@Peter Parkurr_** SMACKDOWN, IT WAS LIKE, SUPER COOL
> 
> **ZeroTwo:** huh, darling?
> 
> **Queen_Of_Mean:** damn, did that happen earlier?
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair:** YES!! PETER TOTALLY ROASTED THE SHIT OUTTA FLASH
> 
> **Peturr Parkurr:** Ned, istg
> 
> **Peturr Parkurr:** it was 2nd periof and I had no sleep
> 
> **QueenOfMeme:** period* haha gottem
> 
> **Peturr Parkurr:** shut
> 
> **Queen_Of_Mean:** ever gonna tell that story ned?
> 
> **ZeroTwo:** I wanna know what my darling did
> 
> **ZeroTwo:** i lowkey feel betrayed dat u didn’t inform me of dis
> 
> **Queen_Of_Mean:** just tell the story ned
> 
> **Guy-in-the-chair:** OKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOK SO

* * *

After Pepper left, Jim breathed out a sigh, “I thought I was going to die,” and apparently, he spoke too soon.

Because a knock was heard but before Jim could utter a ‘come in’, Natasha Romanoff opened the door. Jim gaped at this, _Oh God, now what?_

Natasha made her way to the shellshocked principal and sat down, “I ran a background check in all of the students that were in this school with the help of a colleague and I have never been more disappointed as to what I found out,” If every word that came out of Pepper Potts’ mouth felt like he was being stabbed in the chest with a dull knife, then every word that came out of Natasha Romanov’s mouth felt like it was skinning him alive.

Jim silently marked Thursdays as a no-good day. Jim was sitting as still as he can, he sucked in a huge amount of air and has not released it when Natasha arrived.

Every word that Natasha uttered became inaudible in Jim’s perspective. All he ever heard was a constant ringing on both of his ears as he felt the blood rush from his body to his face.

“-bully. Uhh, you look like you’re suffocating,” that’s because he is suffocating, “Were you even listening?”, Natasha looked at him and made a face, “You look like you’re about to burst…”

“This is ridiculous, I feel like I’m wasting my time here,” she stood up from her seat, “The next time I come here, be sure not to look like, uhh, a tomato,” the moment she stepped out the door, a student recognized her and screamed her name.

“OH MY GOD! IT’S NATASHA ROMANOFF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- “, that caught the attention of the students who were roaming freely through the hallways. Natasha’s eye twitched.

* * *

“ **Access Granted. Alpha 10, Level: 100, Classified Equipment identified,** ” FRIDAY announced with her thick Irish accent.

“Welcome back, QUEEN OF MEME, shall I inform the others, specifically Peter and Harley, of your arrival?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is disappointing. I'm not even sure if these make any sense.  
> Also, this is awfully short

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, first of all, fuck.


End file.
